Steve Hall: The Man Who Tells It Straight from the Straitjacket
“Steve Hall was a writer for the Church who left in 2004.”
—A television tabloid host’s on-air introduction of Steve Hall
Also by way of an introduction, Steve Hall is both Marty Rathbun’s “Web Master” and “Internet Guru.”
But for the truly incisive character sketch, the one that explains why the tabloid host’s own introduction was kept to an absolute minimum, Steve Hall himself would like us to know he was previously:
A) Gautama Siddhartha
B) Jesus Christ
C) The Italian Renaissance painter, Tintoretto
D) And prior to all the above, he additionally co-created the universe with God.
All of which further explains why the tabloid host assured a Church spokesperson that he saw nothing of interest in what Hall had to say and thus asked no questions regarding Hall...
All of which, in turn, meant the Church never had an opportunity to present Steve Hall to television viewers in terms of what he really represented...
Namely: A new low in tabloid journalism for the fact that the host was so hard up to find anyone who would corroborate Rathbun’s tall tales, he brought on someone known to one and all who worked with him as a “complete nutcase.”
So to set the record straight, here’s the real Steve Hall:
In addition to aforementioned claims that he was Jesus, Buddha and co-creator of the Universe, Hall maintains he was the “scriptwriter” for the ecclesiastic leader of the religion.
It’s a statement former co-workers describe as “patently false” and in the words of a senior Church official:
“By that definition, a person peeling potatoes in the army is ’The President’s Potato Peeler.’”
Then there was Steve Hall as “He Who Communes with the Dearly Departed.”
When the wife of a co-worker passed away in 1998, Hall presents the still grieving widower with a letter he supposedly “channeled” from beyond the veil. It’s maudlin beyond description and filled with statements intended to convince the man his late wife had elected Hall as the family’s new protector. As a matter of fact, the only distinction between Hall’s letter and a classic graveside con is that Hall actually believes he can speak to the dead.
When apprised of the letter, the host drips crocodile tears and tells the Church spokesperson:
“Oh my God, that's terrible. I can't believe that anybody would do that.”
While just for good measure, the widower himself writes to the host:
“[Hall’s message] was no more a communication from my wife of 11 years than had Steve handed me the Poughkeepsie, New York, phone book. There is not one turn of phrase or sentiment that even remotely rings of anything she would have said, or represents the relationship I had with her.”
To which he adds with emphasis:
“I am outraged that any journalist, particularly one from a respected outlet such as yours, would consider [Hall] a credible source in any way—much less entertain anything he had to say.”
True to form, the host never even responds to the widower’s letter. Moreover, when the Church spokesperson presses the point, one of the show’s producers informs him that just because Hall maintains a hotline to the dead didn’t mean he couldn’t stand in as a believable source.
But, of course, there’s another way to interpret all such messages from beyond the bounds of any credibility.
That is, if Steve Hall was the best the tabloid show could dredge up through the course of nine months, then just how desperate were they to find someone who could corroborate the stories of Marty Rathbun?
And when it came to the actual broadcast—hammering home the point that Hall was there for corroboration and corroboration only—his sole action was to parrot the allegations of the others with a mandatory tale of abuse from November 2003.
Only problem: In November 2003, the alleged assailant was 10,000 miles away.
And whatever else Hall told the host in his incoherent ramblings—that ended up on the cutting room floor.
So that's how one tabloid television show corroborates their sources—through the words of a man who both painted Jesus and was Jesus, depending on which incarnation you’re talking about.